Shakespeare vs Dr Seuss Rap Battle 📺

By Xah Lee. Date:
Dr Seuss VS Shakespeare. Epic Rap Battles of History
Aug 17, 2011
Nice Peter
slug A round bullet larger than buckshot. (AHD)
hath “i hath been …”. Broken english as joke, with a Shakespearean touch of the “th” postfix. It became popular on the internet around ~2007, usually involving incorrect grammatical {aspect, tense}, mimicking bad english from Asians (aka [ Engrish ] [ ]). It is particularly popular on [ 4chan ] [ ]. Such joke may have started with [ all your base are belong to us ] [ ] (~2000).
iambic a particular (unscientific) unit of rhythmic structure in poetry. [ Iamb (foot) ] [ ]
Come bite my thumb!
I hope you know the stakes
I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades
then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?
I hath been iambic on that ass, ye bastard
my rhymes are classic
your crap is drafted by a kindergartener high on acid

hoebag “hoe” is slang for “whore”, from black rapper community. [ Black Vernacular English ] [ ] do no pronounce the “r”, and rapper lyrics change the spelling too. For example: “doing” ⇒ “doin”. For many examples, see: Hip-Hop Rap and the Quagmire of Blacks. Here, “hoe” or “hoebag” might also alludes to something in Shakespeare's plays.
Soulja Boy [ Soulja Boy ] [ ] (born 1990) is a American black rapper, criticized for his shallow raps.
swag internet slang, meaning: apperance, style. From “swagger”.
gonads organ in animals that produces gametes, especially a testis or ovary. (AHD). Here, it means no balls, lack of potence. [ Gonad ] [ ]
egads a euphemism for the [ interjection ] [ ] “O God”. See: [ Minced oath ] [ ].
doctor [ Dr. Seuss ] [ ] is the pen-name for Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 to 1991), most famous for writing children's books.
The Twilight books [ Twilight (novel) ] [ ], is a vampire-romance novel, made popular by the film [ Twilight (2008 film) ] [ ], widely subjected to silly ridicule. (the inane ridicules the inane) It portrays vampires as [ emo ] [ ] (For example, emotional, introverted, introspective, repressed, suicidal, kinda personality and subculture, popular among the young in 21st century US America, induced by American bleadingheart movements. (See also: a Exhibition of Political Correctness and Feminism Prowess.)).
ye hoebag
you're an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag and no gonads
egads it's so sad
and to top it off
you're not a doctor
I've never seen a softer author
you crook, you
I bet you wrote The Twilight books too

on a boat seems to be a reference from the book [ Green Eggs and Ham ] [ ] is a book by Dr Seuss. I thought it refers to a extremely popular but silly rap song that parody rap clichés. See: I Am On a Boat (2009).
Horton Horton is [ Horton the Elephant ] [ ], a character from one of Dr Seuss's book [ Horton Hears a Who! ] [! ]. Horton is a kind, sweet-natured elephant who cares about other animals or people. In each of Horton's book appearances he endures a good amount of ridicule, for believing in something that no one else does. Source
Cindy Lou Who Cindy Lou Who is a character from Dr Seuss's [ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! ] [! ]. See:
MacBeth [ Macbeth ] [ ] (~1603) is one of Shakespeare's tragedy, about a regicide and its aftermath.
The Cat in The Hat Dr Seuss's most famous work [ The Cat in the Hat ] [ ]. Also made into a film starring Mike Myers. [ The Cat in the Hat (film) ] [ ]
ruffled The folded decorative collar clothing on the neck. [ Ruffle ] [ ]
I would not could not on a boat
read any of the boring ass plays you wrote
even Horton doesn't want to hear you
and Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you
you bore people to death
you leave a classroom
looking like the end of MacBeth
I entertain a child of any age
you gotta translate what you said on the opposite page
how you gonna battle with The Cat in The Hat?
little kids get scared when I step on the mat
you think your ruffled neck ass gonna rap to that?
I got a best selling book about me coming back

trisyllabic meter Dr Seuss frequently uses trisyllabic meter in his books.
baller slang: a good ball player; a star. Probably from star basketball players, most of which are black.
bleachers as a audience.
I'm switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces,
each is such a wonder with a plethora of features
you're pathetically predictable,
you think your new book might include a trisyllabic meter and
  some ghetto Muppet creatures
the Bard is in the building, it's a castle,
I'm a boss.
I bet I'm Parliament.
I'm positive, I'm killing it,
I'm iller than the plague,
I never caught or cholera
a baller baller
 on some cricket bowler business
while you're sitting in the bleachers.
Things 1 and 2 A twin mischief-makers. They came out of a box of The Cat in The Hat.
You rap fast you do
yes you rap fast it's true
now let's see how you rap versus Things 1 and 2
ham and green eggs [ Green Eggs and Ham ] [ ] is a book by Dr Seuss.
all does not end well [ All's Well That Ends Well ] [ ] is one of Shakespeare's play.
upstaged Upstage is rear part of a stage. Moving to upstage is to force out of the spotlight. Thus, as verb, to treat haughtily, snobbishly.
played pun. His play is being played; he got played on, setup, made fun of.
Oh, No
We'll smash your globe
yo, you may have wrote the script but now we running the show
you can take your fancy words and send'em back home to your mama
break our foot off in your ass with our feetie pajamas
man we'll cook you up and eat you with some ham and green eggs
we'll break offa your legs
make no mistake
we in a rage
all does not end well when we bust out our cage
you gettin' upstaged Bill
you, you just got played!

The rappers, video director, lyricists, are:

For more credits, see the info at Source

thanks to David Banks (aka [2011-09-11 @amoe ] ( )) for help on “swag”. Thanks to [Mike Newton] for help on “Horton” and “swag”.

English Accents

Accent Humor, Double Entendre