A funny rap song named “My Dick” by Mickey Avalon.
My dick cost a late night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kids My dick large like the chargers (The whole team) Your shit look like you're fourteen My dick locked in a cage (Right) Your dick suffer from stage fright My dick so hot it's stolen Your dick look like Gary Coleman My dick pink and big Your dick stinks like shit My dick got a Caesar doo Your dick needs a tweezer dude My dick is like super size Your dick look like two fries My dick more mass than the Earth Your dick half staff (It needs work) My dick been there done that Your dick sits there with dunce cap My dick V.I.P. Your shit needs I.D. It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S., we got dicks like Jesus It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S., we got dicks like Jesus My dick need no introduction Your dick don't even function My dick served a whole lunch-in Your dick, it look like a munchkin' My dick size of a pumpkin Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin My dick good good lovin' Your dick good for nothin' My dick bench pressed 350 Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty My dick pretty damn skimpy Your dick hungry as a hippie My dick don't fit down the chimney Your dick is like a kid from the Philippine My dick is like an M16 Your dick, broken vending machine My dick parts the seas Your dick farts and queefs My dick rumble in the jungle Your dick got touched by your uncle My dick goes to yoga Your dick fruit roll up My dick grade a beef Your dick made a geek My dick sick and dangerous Your dick quick and painless My dick 'nuff said Your dick loves Fred It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S., we got dicks like Jesus It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S., we got dicks like Jesus
Here's tidbits about Mickey:
Avalon's family upbringing was tumultuous. His mother sold marijuana for a living (which Avalon began doing as well) and his father was a heroin addict. He was raised Orthodox Jewish. By the time he was out of his teenage years he had prostituted himself in order to get money to support his heroin addiction. He spent time as a prostitute and drug dealer before finding success in music. By his early 20s, Avalon got married, had a daughter, and moved to Portland, Oregon.
had a baby named Jane she could shake that thing said her daddy used to hang with Johnny Coltrane she sang the soul train with a friend named Jen her booty was bigger than a Mercedes Benz Jen was a hurty burty dirty little girlie I heard it from a birdie she could cook a mean turkey with gravy Baby Baby Baby… Baby was Jen's best friend and maybe if you were lucky licky licky sucky sucky Mickey Mickey, fuck me fuck me more junk in her trunk than a Honda I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda
One, two, three, four get your booty on the dance floor work it out, shake it little momma lemme see you do the Jane Fonda five, six, seven, now if you don't know, let me show you how to work it out, work it little momma I know you wanna do the Jane Fonda
I had a princess, queen of incest she was inbred but Jean had big breasts and big eyes and a big ass to match Jean wasn't fast, she was easy to catch then came Molly a hood from Hollywood High so fly she was transatlantic she was a manic depressive [manic depressive] which was impressive very impressive I had to test it tasted like chicken and was lemon scented she took me home to her mama I taught 'em both how to Jane Fonda
I had a doll named Dana from Santa Ana she was a waitress at the Copacabanna she was slammin' and her ass was jammin' like Janet Jackson in the Rhythm Nation her brother jason had a girl named Grace and you could see her ass from outer space so I landed on her planet and I planted a Mickey Av flag in it, dammit!
Splendid lyrics.
Here's Jane Fonda's workout video, with Mickey's song.