Unwholesome Cocktail: Tampon Popsicle and Bloody Vodka

By Xah Lee. Date:

Someone wrote:

What is the current teen euphemism of period?

Please excuse me if i'm being not apropos, but inappropriateness seems to be a hankering of mine.

As to the matter in question, it is affiliated with something i deeply and helplessly love. Not just love, but obsessive love. This thing, this period thing, from physical point of view, is a dripping of blood. The redness, the flow, the fluidity, and the fleshiness, and from such a tender cavern, a carnal of love, is of immense fascination to me.

My fascination with it is a morbidity of naturalness, and my thought with it has induced me to concoct a cocktail of it.

A little fun recipe for the demented lovebirds out there.

WARNING: The subject of this email says it all. It will absolutely offend the righteous. Delete this message now, if you are not into such thing.

I must emphasize, that now you have been warned just like the gazillion “You Must Be Over 18” signs. Some experiences in life are irreversible. It's not like you had a beer underage and tomorrow you just piss it off. Some material, once exposed to, will have a permanent footprint in your memory banks. I'm not responsible if the functionality of your info processing center is damaged or effected by it in any way.

Now you've been warned. The recipe lies below.

Bloody Tampon Popsicle Recipe

This is great for hot summer.

(1) Get your girlfriend to give you a fresh blood drenched tampon, if you two are sensual about morbid topics. Or, you can beg to change tampons for her, as a token of devotion. Wives will do too, especially if not yours. If you don't have access to a girlfriend or nubile wife, then it may be a bit of a problem. Sisters do not work well, unless you two cook together.

(2) Soak the bloody tampon in a prepared strawberry juice (available from health food stores.). Put it in a small shaker and shake vigorously. Throw a pinch of tequila for taste.

(3) Pour the purée into a Popsicle mold, and drop the tampon in. Put it in a freezer. Serve when frozen.

This makes a great thirst quencher for two in a hot summer. For those gutsy, coat it with fresh love juice.

Bloody Tampon Vodka

In winter times, you may want to try a bloody tampon vodka. This drink is not only enticing to the heart but also to the eye. Pour the vodka in a crystal shot glass. Pull the tampon out of her vagina and drop it right into the drink slowly. Watch the physics of turbulence of fluid diffusion in action. Drink when the whole glass is in one color.

By the way, if you are concerned in aspects of wholesomeness: I assure you that i've read that drinking period blood is harmless. However, since this involves blood, all cautions of blood sport apply. (in particular, she must be healthy.) Do your homework on the web. I am not responsible if you get sick or catch disease.

PS blood-drenched tampon Popsicle is inspired by South Park the movie. Buy at amazon