Human Animals Need Ass Kissing to Survive

By Xah Lee. Date:

(WARNING: offensive diatribe follows)

xah's rumination, episode №201405142205280700.

so, recently i wrote a piece on vi/vim's keybinding. y'know? in a text editor, there are commands, and commands may have keyboard shortcuts. Suppose, there are 100 commands and there are 100 keys on keyboard. There is the question, of how you map the commands to keys. Now, there are 100! possible keymaps. Obviously, some mapping is better than others.

so, given vim, or emacs, or other software with lots of commands (such as 3d games or Second Life or photoshop or AutoCAD), there's the question of how good is the keymap, with respect to operational efficiency, ergonomics, or intuitiveness.

so, i wrote a piece on vi: vi, vim, 3 Decades Pile of History.

immediately, i get not so nice responses, some from friend/acquaintances, and some from strangers. The responses didn't address anything in my analysis/criticism. Instead, their content is about “you are a idiot” or “vi vs emacs”, or “to each of their own”.

none of the responses actually addressed any single point in my key mapping analysis.

this is very annoying. I tried to steer the conversation towards something useful, like, please do point out if my analysis about the keys is incorrect, i then got responses about “vi rules” or “how to do persuasion” or the distance to the moon. This kept on after a few exchanges, and i'm, like, “WTF am i supposed to say?”. I presume the correct answer is collaborative cock patting?


the topic of the vi essay, is about a criticism of keymapping of a particular software. 1+1 is either 3 or not 3. It's not about math vs religion. Point out and prove 1+1 isn't 3, either nicely or rudely. I don't need to hear your insecurities of math, or go copulate thyself with thy attachments and delusions and sense and sensibilities.

same thing happens with language wars, and in general, political issues.

this post, isn't about the happenings of vi and emacs. It's about human nature. and that's the thing, my thing.

when a sensitive or religious topic is discussed, people are irrational. It's almost impossible to have fruitful conversation.

so, i thought of using my acumen and approach of looking at human history for insights. What do human animals of past thousands years do to solve this? how does sensitive topics get discussed? how great men pushed unorthodox views and with what result? How taboo and mores evolve?

it seems, sensitive topics or unorthodox opinion can be discussed or propagated. And, one most effective technique to do so is: kissing people's ass.

so, for example, when i write criticism of vi, i should start by, “dear vim users, here's some thoughts about vi from a newbie me. Please let me know where my thoughts went wrong.”

the keywords here is: humbleness and politeness with a dab of fawning.

y'know what “fawning” means?

fawn: To exhibit affection or attempt to please, as a dog does by wagging its tail, whining, or cringing.


how politicians or salesmen are tactful, roundabout, evasive, deceptive, or hateful, and in general, win ur heart and stab u behind ya back.

that, is the way to win people. And that, is how things are. Majority of politicians are hateful because YOUR actions made it that way. Your ass needs to be kissed, and that is a priority toppling all.

now, on the question of tack.

some say, or most people would say, that some politeness is in order. But my personal view and proclivity is that this needs to be fucked in some way. The world's problems, war, hunger, is due to human animals thinking too high of themselves. (first of all, they think themselves as “beings”, whatever that means. (here's a hint on how language influences thought.))

This is a thorny problem. Because, I, am a human animal. I, am born with certain qualities that i cannot change. Such as, the requirement of slaying other animals for their flesh, or uproot plants and plunder leafs. Subtle, is that my ass comes before yours. It needs to be kissed.

you too, are a human animal -- the kissing priority of ya ass conflicts with mine.

thus, War.

we can not cease be human animals. (technically, that's called inhuman. In America, that's called Unamerican.)

but methinks, understanding the paradox of kissing priority is most critical for assuaging the problems of humanity.

i personally want a society where people are rude and straightforward, and less phoniness and politeness, and the world is actually more peaceful and respectful. I want you to be more like me, you understand?